Tag Archives: nfl

Gronkowski’s fire (you don’t mess with the zoltan)

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Think Tebow-mania has finally died down now that Tom Brady and the New England Patriots put out Tim Tebow’s fire?

It seems John Parr agrees and has taken the opportunity to capitalize once again, but this time with more Zoltan!

Bonus: “Tim Tebow’s Fire” Isn’t John Parr’s First Hit Sequal

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The walking dead…

"You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

In what can only be described as a crazy Al Davis-esque move, The Oakland Raiders have traded for formally retired NFL quarterback Carson Palmer from the Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals caved from their prior stance of not trading the disgruntled veteran quarterback–but who wouldn’t accept such a ludicrous trade offer? It’s baffling as the Raiders basically traded the “entire farm”–a first-round draft pick in 2012 and a conditional first-round pick in 2013– for a quarterback who hasn’t been good in as many seasons as I can recall.

Carson Palmer must be doing a “happy dance” as I type this post.  I can only imagine Palmer hearing of the news from his agent whilst playing golf, or whatever retired people with way too much money do. Palmer does inherit a very manageable situation, as he will be joining a burgeoning NFL contender in the Oakland Raiders, who up until the point were winning with the forever mediocre Jason Campbell as a quarter back. It might be an upgrade, but you can smell the desperation all over this trade.

I could possible eat my words by seasons end if the Oakland Raiders end up winning their division–I have a feeling it wouldn’t be due to the amazing play of Palmer, but the all-world abilities of Darren “Run DMC” McFadden. Who knows, maybe the most powerful lich in the known universe (formerly known as Al Davis) has another magic spell up his cold, evil, undead hands for the rest of the NFL to feel.

Fantasy Implications:


  • Carson Palmer who threw a tantrum prior to the season
  • The Oakland Raiders receivers who Palmer can actually hit without throwing a pick
  • Zombie Al Davis
  • The Cincinnati Bengals and their top draft picks, who will reap the rewards from this heist for the next few years.
  • Jason Campbell, it was nice seeing you in silver and black


  • Oakland Raiders
  • Honor and sticking by your guns, I’m looking at you Mike Brown

Carson Palmer traded to Raiders for first-round pick, future considerations [sports.yahoo.com]

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Get outta my face!

The Detroit Lions (5-1) magical run at perfection (they could have been the only team to ever go 16-0 and 0-16) has come crashing to a stop at the hands of the San Francisco 49ner’s (5-1) yesterday. In a game that can only be described as “epic,” culminating in an equally awesome conclusion–a “man-dance” between head coaches, Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz.

Both these teams have surprised me with their tenacious play and tough qualities–both taking on the fiery personalities of their head coaches.  The two teams are a helluva opponent for any team in the NFL and it’s high time to believe in not only the preseason darlings Detroit Lions, but also, last year’s trendy Super Bowl sleeper San Francisco 49ner’s.

I’m personally rooting for the Brobowl, Jim Harbaugh vs. John Harbaugh XLVI.  Believe.

Fantasy Notes:

  • Frank Gore: 146 total yards and a score. It looks like his earlier injury woes are behind him. Frank the “tank” was a big reason the 49ners kept the game close and ultimately wound up with the win.  He’s a surefire RB1 going forward, just make sure you have Kendall Hunter as a handcuff or other decent backup options, as he’s still an injury risk.

Niners knock off Lions from ranks of unbeaten [nfl.com]

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Run for the Hill-is!

Being a true video game fan, and football fan, I steered clear of Peyton Hillis in all my drafts.  Why? The madden ‘effing curse, baby!

Peyton Hillis has been a disappointment so far in fantasy football circles, where he was drafted by many as a RB1. Hillis is averaging a full yard per carry less than he did last year–when he leapt out of nowhere to become a fantasy football hero. Hillis is averaging just 3.6 yards a carry and has only two rushing touchdowns on 54 attempts for the year. What makes his situation worse is Montario Hardesty is only getting stronger and more carries as the weeks go by. I see the Browns running back situation as a wolf pack of two going forward. Even with the Cleveland Browns playing the Raiders this weekend–who have been the second most generous defense for opposing fantasy running backs this season–I would not trust Hillis.

With baffling poor choices and mediocre play thus far–save for one stud-like performance in week 2 against the Colts–we get to watch the curse unfold and somewhere Madden is laughing, maniacally.

Update:  A reader pointed out in the comments, an ironic twist of fate that I failed to mention in my post. Hillis is straight doomed. Still don’t believe in magic and curses?

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Hulk smash

Watch this hilarious video of the Hulkster “motivating” Tim Tebow, the newly anointed starter for the Denver Broncos.  Is it just me, or is there a new WWE soap opera plot in the making?  I for one would love to see Hulk Hogan doing an atomic-leg-drop-of-doom on a hapless Tebow during a Wrestlemania match, only to have Tebow gain invincibility and mount a furious comeback (Hulk Hogan style, of course) after calling upon his deity for “holy” strength.  I can see it now, wrestling match of the year?

Hulkster drops hammer on Tebow Time  [blogs.nfl.com]

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LeBron’s taking his talents to Seattle

Picture sent to LeBron James, from Pete Carroll, via Twitter

Seahawks coach Pete Carroll–former great recruiting head coach for University of Southern California–is once again casting his devious black magics. His target this time? LeBron James.

In what has been an entertaining series of tweets between James, and other notable NFL personalities, has led to the creation of his very own Seahawks jersey (pictured in the above image).

Don’t you agree, LeBron would look great catching touchdowns over the middle of the field as a TE in a hawks jersey? Even with the NBA lockout in effect, this is sadly in the realm of pure fantasy.


Football might not be in LeBron's future, but maybe becoming a chicken? I realize it's a Cav's jersey, but I made this awhile ago.

There’s a Seahawks jersey with your name on it, LeBron [nfl.com]

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Looking a gift horse in the mouth

Don't let the pink fool you. That's not "hot" pink, it's "full of burning rage" pink.

LaGarrette Blount can add The Indianapolis Colts to his “punched in the face” list, after rumbling for 127 yards and a score on Monday night. What’s with Blount and his unbounded hate for teams with horse mascots, anyway?

I couldn’t picture a more perfect running back for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers than Blount, even his name screams “I’m a pirate”, but my undying love of piraty things alone can’t convince me to be all in on Blount from a fantasy perspective. I still have concerns with Blount going forward. Mainly used as the 1st and 2nd down back, his carries will be limited and like most big running backs (he’s listed at, 6’0″ 247lb) he has a reckless upright running style that will make him prone to injuries, especially during this training camp shortened N.F.L. season.

I wouldn’t want to be the linebacker in “Captain” Blount’s path to his “booty,” but I wouldn’t trade away all my treasure just yet to acquire him. For now, fantasy football owners should take a wait and see approach with Blount before hopping on the boat completely.

Update 10/14/11: Remember when I said Blount was an injury risk? Tampa Bay Bucs Running Back Dilemma [theledger.com]

Notes on the above article: It was originally written 10/3/11, but I am posting it now as a sample of my work

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