The walking dead…

"You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

In what can only be described as a crazy Al Davis-esque move, The Oakland Raiders have traded for formally retired NFL quarterback Carson Palmer from the Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals caved from their prior stance of not trading the disgruntled veteran quarterback–but who wouldn’t accept such a ludicrous trade offer? It’s baffling as the Raiders basically traded the “entire farm”–a first-round draft pick in 2012 and a conditional first-round pick in 2013– for a quarterback who hasn’t been good in as many seasons as I can recall.

Carson Palmer must be doing a “happy dance” as I type this post.  I can only imagine Palmer hearing of the news from his agent whilst playing golf, or whatever retired people with way too much money do. Palmer does inherit a very manageable situation, as he will be joining a burgeoning NFL contender in the Oakland Raiders, who up until the point were winning with the forever mediocre Jason Campbell as a quarter back. It might be an upgrade, but you can smell the desperation all over this trade.

I could possible eat my words by seasons end if the Oakland Raiders end up winning their division–I have a feeling it wouldn’t be due to the amazing play of Palmer, but the all-world abilities of Darren “Run DMC” McFadden. Who knows, maybe the most powerful lich in the known universe (formerly known as Al Davis) has another magic spell up his cold, evil, undead hands for the rest of the NFL to feel.

Fantasy Implications:

Winners:

• Carson Palmer who threw a tantrum prior to the season
• The Oakland Raiders receivers who Palmer can actually hit without throwing a pick
• Zombie Al Davis
• The Cincinnati Bengals and their top draft picks, who will reap the rewards from this heist for the next few years.
• Jason Campbell, it was nice seeing you in silver and black

Losers:

• Oakland Raiders
• Honor and sticking by your guns, I’m looking at you Mike Brown

Carson Palmer traded to Raiders for first-round pick, future considerations [sports.yahoo.com]

Karma, it comes and goes

Rangers book return trip to World Series [texas.rangers.mlb.com]

Desert loving in your eyes all the way
If I listen to your lies would you say
I’m a man without conviction
I’m a man who doesn’t know
How to sell a contradiction
You come and go, you come and go — Karma Chameleon, Culture Club

Hulk smash

Watch this hilarious video of the Hulkster “motivating” Tim Tebow, the newly anointed starter for the Denver Broncos.  Is it just me, or is there a new WWE soap opera plot in the making?  I for one would love to see Hulk Hogan doing an atomic-leg-drop-of-doom on a hapless Tebow during a Wrestlemania match, only to have Tebow gain invincibility and mount a furious comeback (Hulk Hogan style, of course) after calling upon his deity for “holy” strength.  I can see it now, wrestling match of the year?

Hulkster drops hammer on Tebow Time  [blogs.nfl.com]

LeBron’s taking his talents to Seattle

Picture sent to LeBron James, from Pete Carroll, via Twitter

Seahawks coach Pete Carroll–former great recruiting head coach for University of Southern California–is once again casting his devious black magics. His target this time? LeBron James.

In what has been an entertaining series of tweets between James, and other notable NFL personalities, has led to the creation of his very own Seahawks jersey (pictured in the above image).

Don’t you agree, LeBron would look great catching touchdowns over the middle of the field as a TE in a hawks jersey? Even with the NBA lockout in effect, this is sadly in the realm of pure fantasy.

Bonus:

Football might not be in LeBron's future, but maybe becoming a chicken? I realize it's a Cav's jersey, but I made this awhile ago.

There’s a Seahawks jersey with your name on it, LeBron [nfl.com]

Looking a gift horse in the mouth

Don't let the pink fool you. That's not "hot" pink, it's "full of burning rage" pink.

LaGarrette Blount can add The Indianapolis Colts to his “punched in the face” list, after rumbling for 127 yards and a score on Monday night. What’s with Blount and his unbounded hate for teams with horse mascots, anyway?

I couldn’t picture a more perfect running back for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers than Blount, even his name screams “I’m a pirate”, but my undying love of piraty things alone can’t convince me to be all in on Blount from a fantasy perspective. I still have concerns with Blount going forward. Mainly used as the 1st and 2nd down back, his carries will be limited and like most big running backs (he’s listed at, 6’0″ 247lb) he has a reckless upright running style that will make him prone to injuries, especially during this training camp shortened N.F.L. season.

I wouldn’t want to be the linebacker in “Captain” Blount’s path to his “booty,” but I wouldn’t trade away all my treasure just yet to acquire him. For now, fantasy football owners should take a wait and see approach with Blount before hopping on the boat completely.

Update 10/14/11: Remember when I said Blount was an injury risk? Tampa Bay Bucs Running Back Dilemma [theledger.com]

Notes on the above article: It was originally written 10/3/11, but I am posting it now as a sample of my work