In what can only be described as a crazy Al Davis-esque move, The Oakland Raiders have traded for formally retired NFL quarterback Carson Palmer from the Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals caved from their prior stance of not trading the disgruntled veteran quarterback–but who wouldn’t accept such a ludicrous trade offer? It’s baffling as the Raiders basically traded the “entire farm”–a first-round draft pick in 2012 and a conditional first-round pick in 2013– for a quarterback who hasn’t been good in as many seasons as I can recall.
Carson Palmer must be doing a “happy dance” as I type this post. I can only imagine Palmer hearing of the news from his agent whilst playing golf, or whatever retired people with way too much money do. Palmer does inherit a very manageable situation, as he will be joining a burgeoning NFL contender in the Oakland Raiders, who up until the point were winning with the forever mediocre Jason Campbell as a quarter back. It might be an upgrade, but you can smell the desperation all over this trade.
I could possible eat my words by seasons end if the Oakland Raiders end up winning their division–I have a feeling it wouldn’t be due to the amazing play of Palmer, but the all-world abilities of Darren “Run DMC” McFadden. Who knows, maybe the most powerful lich in the known universe (formerly known as Al Davis) has another magic spell up his cold, evil, undead hands for the rest of the NFL to feel.
- Carson Palmer who threw a tantrum prior to the season
- The Oakland Raiders receivers who Palmer can actually hit without throwing a pick
- Zombie Al Davis
- The Cincinnati Bengals and their top draft picks, who will reap the rewards from this heist for the next few years.
- Jason Campbell, it was nice seeing you in silver and black
- Oakland Raiders
- Honor and sticking by your guns, I’m looking at you Mike Brown